C: …I don’t know.
U: You lie like the underside of a salmon
(^it’s funnier in enochian)
Via Heaven help us
Mom: You know, your sister’s our favorite.
Moi: I know, Mom.
Mom: Just thought I’d reiterate.
the love we share. it is strong.
sometimes I wish I was shorter
so I’d stop hitting my knees every time I go to sit down.
sitting at tables is actually a challenge because I have to shove my legs under the table and they always either hit a center support or the side of the table. and that’s ignoring the other side of the spectrum, when I always hit my head on ceiling lamps and chandilers…
short people say they wanna be tall, but why? you guys can ninja around things like woah.
I guess this is just one of those ‘grass is always greener’ things
was pretty ‘meh’ about prom, but then Ali said she was excited, so now I’m super excited too.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DO TO ME ALI.
“When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”
oh my god
BEST JOKE.
THIS JOKE SHALL BE TOLD FOREVER
(Source : caplan)
